bread&tea

Life is a lot of things, and one of those things is making messes. And however much I'd like to talk about messes being a good influence and gaining experience and growing from my mistakes and how positive it can all be....I won't. Because despite whatever gain I can sieve out them, that tactic requires looking back. And looking back is not nearly as happy as looking forward, for those who have less life to look back on. No discouragement to those who learn from their mistakes, those whom I applaud for facing their past and dealing with it, that is great; that's simply not what I'm going to (apparently rant) talk about. So many messes. So many mistakes. There goes the egg, on the floor. Holding the cat that bites, next to my face. Sitting in a wheeled chair, on a slanted floor. Eating prunes, to many days in a row. Saying I'll do the dusting, and forgetting to dust. Doing the laundry, but not the dishes. Remembering I need to eat something, and grabbing a cookie...

There is a fundamental vicious circle that all bloggers must face, involving two points. One: Readers will not come back to a blog unless there is new material, if they come back at all. This is why it is necessary to keep up a somewhat steady stream of content. (on that note, it's easy to see why I don't have a lot of readers) Two: Due to a continual flow of content, what you have written already gets methodically buried in a mountain of choices. Readers rarely look into the archive of posts, effectively losing out on a huge source of content, which supposedly is one of the reasons they came in the first place. Those paragraphs can be shortened to: In general, readers don't come without consistent updates they can expect, and readers don't come to browse, but to read what's new. In general. There are quite an amount of people who will dare to float their mouse over to the archive sidebar of underrated treasure (as I call it now), and venture to randomly sel...

what if i simply spoke spoke without hesitation without any remorse no consideration for policies or affections refused the guidelines of polite chat and small talk explored and expressed the train of thought in originality ? no harm meant none taken if taken with good intent after which the train could proceed all dialogue chained together with no stops only small breaks the purpose your realization my realization of everything simple and complicated becoming complicated and simple yet now understandable all this said and more with no thought given for consequences the implications of such thought consensually overridden to benefit those who dared speak in such a way what might be accomplished then? what sort of consequences would taint the gain? awkward knowledge of the other repeated eye contact acknowledging the other knowing the other knows what you now know too and that they share the same awareness of that liberating open yet closed friendship ...

One of my friends recently got a tattoo which included the words, "Christ First, Christ Always". It's beautiful and inspiring... and slightly daunting. "Christ Always" can be taken and reasoned to mean that Christ is always with us, but put together with "Christ First", it resonates with a stronger promise. Christ first, and always first. An identity proclaimed as more than simply Christ with us, but Christ as who we are, at all times. Daunting or not, isn't it better that way? Oh yes. I've been mulling over over an interesting correlation between satisfaction and completion in Christ, and satisfaction and completion in everyday life. Satisfaction and fulfillment are desired in this day and age.... and the routes people take to get them are varied. I have always gotten the most fulfillment from doing something than finishing though. And though there's certainly fulfillment to be found in accomplishing a task set before you, the challenge ...

Due to excessive busyness (note, not necessarily industrious busyness) I find that once again, I haven't posted for about a week. Argh!   More posts mean more views. More views means I post more. The outcome and result is either a symbiotic relationship where I regularly post and regularly get read, or a vicious circle where I don't post and no one knows the blog exists anymore. There's no way I post for views, for that would be like seeking the praise of man, but it's undeniable that posting something that no one will read is a waste of time. I can write in a notebook and achieve much more self-improvement than I can writing a post. Views, are not the reason I post, even though they are a lot of my motivation. So if views motivate me, why don't I tell anyone about the blog? What is the likelihood of someone randomly thinking, "Hey, I wonder if Benjamin has a blog?" And then actually finding it amongst a gazillion other blogs? And a bajillion-millio...

To explain the title, I'm starting a new type of blog post, hence the parentheses. I like using them so people can immediately tell what some posts are going to be like. Such as (movie review), (1-page), (poem or song), and now (scripture study). Specifically taking one or a few verses and talking about what I've found interesting in them. That aside.... Proverbs 20:5 says, "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out." Now I shall explain why I love this verse. The main reason is because from what I see, there are at least two different views to look at it from. That of looking inward at our own hearts, or outward towards others'. First, it would be easy enough to say that the heart is like deep waters, but instead the verse says purposes . Specifically moving from generic, to personal. Then water, which could mean a variety of things. Off the top of my head I'd say plentiful, thick, or most likely, burie...