Impactful Influence (part 2)
You know those people that influence you without even trying? And I mean in a good way. How do they do that? Sometimes they don't even look at you or say anything to you, you just notice them. I hope to frame one reason for how they do this by the end this post. Hopefully. :-)
Here's the dangerous generalization I made in part one, "You, and I, are impacting in some way, every person we come into contact with."
The trick is making that a good impact. It could be said that there are three ways that impact comes across to people. Good, neutral, and bad. Neutrality is passive though, and what arises from that, is how can something without any meaningful difference be of any worth? If it's not worth anything, then it's a waste of time that could have been a meaningful, or good, difference. So whether neutral is neutral, or actually just more bad impact, is debatable. Another way to see it, neutrality most of the time, is just indifference to others' existence. That's not right. It's certainly time to change something when I stop caring whether that whoever exists or not.
Earlier I said that knowing why you do what you do, and say the things you say, is important. It can be difficult determining that though. Namely, it's easy to conjure a picture of who you are, with added things of who you want to be. The problem with that is it is not who you are. It doesn't matter if you want it to be, doing things by something you aren't will result in a contradictory picture to other people. The goal is to come up with an honest, accurate, up-to-date, picture of your characteristics and personality. Note that this can/does change over time.
Quoting from part one, "With a base to build off of, I can present a consistent, non-contradictory picture of who I am, in every encounter with someone else."
What I mean by a base, is the set of beliefs, or worldview, that determines what your actions are. Your characteristics and personality determine the how, and the way you carry out those actions. Interestingly, both reasons are the why.
I'm excited now. This is what I've been writing everything else so that I could get to. Once you know your base, (worldview) and how you naturally do things and say things, you can present an unwavering, precise, and non-contradictory view of yourself, to anyone who comes into contact with you.
Now what's so great about that? Hm. Assuming that you would like to make a difference, at least to someone, I've found it very useful. The idea is not to present a view of yourself that's cool, or otherworldly smart, but to use that stable, and thus attractive image, to influence others for their betterment. It's really the simple idea that people will be influenced the most by those who have the most solid, non-contradictory, reasons for what they do and why they do it. Knowing how you do it just makes it a lot easier to show that.
Say you are, a loud person. Not in a bad way. You just speak up a lot. If you pick the right time, and say a carefully and minimally worded sentence, the impact is astounding. Spin it around. Say you are a quiet person. Again, not in a bad way. If you pick the right time, and say a carefully worded paragraph, the impact can be just as astounding. The same goes for your actions. People collect data and maintain a picture of who you are. Contradictions in how you act are just as unsettling, I'd say more, than contradictions in your words. Actions backed up with a stable picture in their minds, are just as influential as speaking.
So. Do you know why you do the things you do? Say the things you say? I hope that maybe it seems more important now. As you can tell, it means a lot to me. I wish to impact people, in a good way. To make a difference in their life for the better. That's why I write this. For you, dear reader. The point is not that I get these thoughts out, or that your view of me (from the unknown to the known) is elevated, or to boost my dumb ego, but to benefit you.
After writing all that, you know what I realized? Impactful is not a word. :-)
Here's the dangerous generalization I made in part one, "You, and I, are impacting in some way, every person we come into contact with."
The trick is making that a good impact. It could be said that there are three ways that impact comes across to people. Good, neutral, and bad. Neutrality is passive though, and what arises from that, is how can something without any meaningful difference be of any worth? If it's not worth anything, then it's a waste of time that could have been a meaningful, or good, difference. So whether neutral is neutral, or actually just more bad impact, is debatable. Another way to see it, neutrality most of the time, is just indifference to others' existence. That's not right. It's certainly time to change something when I stop caring whether that whoever exists or not.
Earlier I said that knowing why you do what you do, and say the things you say, is important. It can be difficult determining that though. Namely, it's easy to conjure a picture of who you are, with added things of who you want to be. The problem with that is it is not who you are. It doesn't matter if you want it to be, doing things by something you aren't will result in a contradictory picture to other people. The goal is to come up with an honest, accurate, up-to-date, picture of your characteristics and personality. Note that this can/does change over time.
Quoting from part one, "With a base to build off of, I can present a consistent, non-contradictory picture of who I am, in every encounter with someone else."
What I mean by a base, is the set of beliefs, or worldview, that determines what your actions are. Your characteristics and personality determine the how, and the way you carry out those actions. Interestingly, both reasons are the why.
I'm excited now. This is what I've been writing everything else so that I could get to. Once you know your base, (worldview) and how you naturally do things and say things, you can present an unwavering, precise, and non-contradictory view of yourself, to anyone who comes into contact with you.
Now what's so great about that? Hm. Assuming that you would like to make a difference, at least to someone, I've found it very useful. The idea is not to present a view of yourself that's cool, or otherworldly smart, but to use that stable, and thus attractive image, to influence others for their betterment. It's really the simple idea that people will be influenced the most by those who have the most solid, non-contradictory, reasons for what they do and why they do it. Knowing how you do it just makes it a lot easier to show that.
Say you are, a loud person. Not in a bad way. You just speak up a lot. If you pick the right time, and say a carefully and minimally worded sentence, the impact is astounding. Spin it around. Say you are a quiet person. Again, not in a bad way. If you pick the right time, and say a carefully worded paragraph, the impact can be just as astounding. The same goes for your actions. People collect data and maintain a picture of who you are. Contradictions in how you act are just as unsettling, I'd say more, than contradictions in your words. Actions backed up with a stable picture in their minds, are just as influential as speaking.
So. Do you know why you do the things you do? Say the things you say? I hope that maybe it seems more important now. As you can tell, it means a lot to me. I wish to impact people, in a good way. To make a difference in their life for the better. That's why I write this. For you, dear reader. The point is not that I get these thoughts out, or that your view of me (from the unknown to the known) is elevated, or to boost my dumb ego, but to benefit you.
After writing all that, you know what I realized? Impactful is not a word. :-)
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