How Are You?
"Hey, how are you?"
"Good, and you?"
"Good."
Why do we even bother?
I mean, I know it's the polite thing nowadays...and it's just a sort of greeting now. It just seems unnecessary most of the time, because quite often the phrase is used in public, and really, what are you supposed to say then, huh? You're not going to break down and spill your guts about what's going on, and most of the time you wouldn't tell the person asking you, even if you were in private. I'm not going to tell just anyone whats been going on lately. But I guess that varies from person to person.
There's more than one way the question gets answered naturally. Many people like thinking up a unique answer that puts others off balance with it's difference from the usual. It's interesting to think back on different responses and try to guess the underlying meaning.
Like....sometimes the response will be something better than good, say "great", or "awesome", (which doesn't make sense) and sometimes it'll be signifying that things aren't so good. Like "pretty good". I get so used to hearing "good", that when someone says "I'm alright", I'm thinking stuff like, oh no, their only doing alright, did someone die?!? Did they wreck their car? Are they thinking suicidal thoughts? I gotta find out and make them feel better NOW!
Seriously, someone says their fine, and I'm thinking, no, you're not just fine, you're f.i.n.e. Freaked out, insecure, nervous, and emotional. And I don't like that, because I don't know you that well, and I know that you don't know me that well, and because of that, you probably won't tell me what's going on, and it's not real easy trying to make someone feel better when you don't know what's going on, and you're probably even trying to give the impression that everything's ok, because you don't want me to know that something's wrong, and now I'll just have to walk away feeling terrible. That's great. That makes two of us now, with something on our minds that's troubling.
There's also more than one perspective to the question too, I suppose. Someone asks me how I'm doing and I'm thinking, well, why do you even ask? What do you think? There's two options. Everything's going good, naturally, because God is in control, and he knows how everything is going to work out, so I just have to trust him, and follow him. Everything's good. But.... looking at it from my side of it....everything is CHAOS! I don't really know what's going to happen today or tomorrow, I have no idea when or if I might suddenly have a life changing experience from an accident or something, this situation is giving me problems, this stuff is giving me problems, this and/or that person is really giving me problems, and maybe the biggest problem that I maybe don't realize is myself, and I can't even change who I am, much less all this chaos around me, and it's all making me depressed and generally ticking me off!
I smile now :-)
Sometimes I think, and I think that maybe I think to much eh?
Then there's those people who ask you how you're doing while walking away. What's up with that? It's polite to offer recognition in a quick nod, or say hi, hey, hello or something while turning around and leaving. But if they just thought about how asking what's up while leaving, they might realize it's like saying, "I wish I cared enough to know what's been going on with you, and I want you to know that, but actually I don't have the time for that. I don't really care."
I wonder if I've ever done that to someone?
On the positive side though, people you do know, and who know you, can ask these questions and really be an encouragement, because you feel comfortable talking about stuff, and they care enough offer advice, encouragement and prayer.
I know the whole post has been on a subject that can be pretty much explained by the fact that people say things they don't mean, and that culture pushes habit and speech onto people. But I'm driving at the idea that maybe if we tried to be more real in our day-to-day relationships, not asking questions that can't be answered, but instead building the connection through other conversation, to the point where we can, that, maybe we just might have more impact. Something like that.
How are you? You can leave an obligatory, "I'm good" comment if you'd like :-)
"Good, and you?"
"Good."
Why do we even bother?
I mean, I know it's the polite thing nowadays...and it's just a sort of greeting now. It just seems unnecessary most of the time, because quite often the phrase is used in public, and really, what are you supposed to say then, huh? You're not going to break down and spill your guts about what's going on, and most of the time you wouldn't tell the person asking you, even if you were in private. I'm not going to tell just anyone whats been going on lately. But I guess that varies from person to person.
There's more than one way the question gets answered naturally. Many people like thinking up a unique answer that puts others off balance with it's difference from the usual. It's interesting to think back on different responses and try to guess the underlying meaning.
Like....sometimes the response will be something better than good, say "great", or "awesome", (which doesn't make sense) and sometimes it'll be signifying that things aren't so good. Like "pretty good". I get so used to hearing "good", that when someone says "I'm alright", I'm thinking stuff like, oh no, their only doing alright, did someone die?!? Did they wreck their car? Are they thinking suicidal thoughts? I gotta find out and make them feel better NOW!
Seriously, someone says their fine, and I'm thinking, no, you're not just fine, you're f.i.n.e. Freaked out, insecure, nervous, and emotional. And I don't like that, because I don't know you that well, and I know that you don't know me that well, and because of that, you probably won't tell me what's going on, and it's not real easy trying to make someone feel better when you don't know what's going on, and you're probably even trying to give the impression that everything's ok, because you don't want me to know that something's wrong, and now I'll just have to walk away feeling terrible. That's great. That makes two of us now, with something on our minds that's troubling.
There's also more than one perspective to the question too, I suppose. Someone asks me how I'm doing and I'm thinking, well, why do you even ask? What do you think? There's two options. Everything's going good, naturally, because God is in control, and he knows how everything is going to work out, so I just have to trust him, and follow him. Everything's good. But.... looking at it from my side of it....everything is CHAOS! I don't really know what's going to happen today or tomorrow, I have no idea when or if I might suddenly have a life changing experience from an accident or something, this situation is giving me problems, this stuff is giving me problems, this and/or that person is really giving me problems, and maybe the biggest problem that I maybe don't realize is myself, and I can't even change who I am, much less all this chaos around me, and it's all making me depressed and generally ticking me off!
I smile now :-)
Sometimes I think, and I think that maybe I think to much eh?
Then there's those people who ask you how you're doing while walking away. What's up with that? It's polite to offer recognition in a quick nod, or say hi, hey, hello or something while turning around and leaving. But if they just thought about how asking what's up while leaving, they might realize it's like saying, "I wish I cared enough to know what's been going on with you, and I want you to know that, but actually I don't have the time for that. I don't really care."
I wonder if I've ever done that to someone?
On the positive side though, people you do know, and who know you, can ask these questions and really be an encouragement, because you feel comfortable talking about stuff, and they care enough offer advice, encouragement and prayer.
I know the whole post has been on a subject that can be pretty much explained by the fact that people say things they don't mean, and that culture pushes habit and speech onto people. But I'm driving at the idea that maybe if we tried to be more real in our day-to-day relationships, not asking questions that can't be answered, but instead building the connection through other conversation, to the point where we can, that, maybe we just might have more impact. Something like that.
How are you? You can leave an obligatory, "I'm good" comment if you'd like :-)
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