EDIM 11 - Maturity
Sometimes I wonder what people judge maturity as anymore, what the expectations are. At first look, it sure seems to me it's more about keeping things together than about whether anything is resolved or not. To a point that is true, as emotions, problems, conflicts, relations, won't all be resolved at the same time naturally. More simply appear. It seems far to easy to accept that mainline maturity is accepted as simply not showing that these issues are an issue -that problems even exist.
Mmm. This wouldn't be such an issue for me if it weren't for the rather blatant increase of immaturity. An increase it feels like wading into when interacting with -as kindly as I can put it- a lost society. It's far to easy to make an example of typical teen relationships, but still fitting nonetheless. It's a tough spot, a delicate subject, but all the better for it as I can only reminiscence on past discussions held on precisely the same point. Immaturity is entirely rampant in young relationships, and I hesitate to speak much on the idea as I'm in the same age group, these things concern me. For all the bible based truth which provides such a strong anchor for me, seemingly bears little impact or meaning to the lost that I'm around.
Think on Jacob.... agreeing to wait 7 years. Or how Joseph handled Mary's pregnancy with kindness in discretion. Maybe it was a different culture, but I don't think having a year-long engagement so that the man could build a homestead first was such a bad idea. Wandering around with undisciplined hormones, painfully unresolved emotional issues, living under the/a parents roof, pulling part-time pay, none of these or all of these together grant a maturity fit for pursuing a soulmate. They just don't. It's unreasonable to believe all of those can be solved beforehand, but there comes a point when I look at myself and think: do I have the mental, emotional, spiritual, financial base, worthy of even allowing the possibility of a relationship?
And I don't speak out of asexual detachment. I speak after the pain of witnessing countless friendships and hearts torn down, in one go or little by little. How can the teen crowd not see this? How can they, ignore the heart-wrenching evidence -of their very own friends even- and choose to have a go themselves despite the circumstances? I usually conclude that it must still seem the best route available, despite the risk.
Perhaps you find yourself in those very circumstances I describe.
It's all something I'm certainly not done thinking upon, but I would like to leave a few verses as comfort and clarity, and as small and partial summary for my own choice in keeping friendship from escalation.
Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."
1 Timothy 6:6-12, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
Mmm. This wouldn't be such an issue for me if it weren't for the rather blatant increase of immaturity. An increase it feels like wading into when interacting with -as kindly as I can put it- a lost society. It's far to easy to make an example of typical teen relationships, but still fitting nonetheless. It's a tough spot, a delicate subject, but all the better for it as I can only reminiscence on past discussions held on precisely the same point. Immaturity is entirely rampant in young relationships, and I hesitate to speak much on the idea as I'm in the same age group, these things concern me. For all the bible based truth which provides such a strong anchor for me, seemingly bears little impact or meaning to the lost that I'm around.
Think on Jacob.... agreeing to wait 7 years. Or how Joseph handled Mary's pregnancy with kindness in discretion. Maybe it was a different culture, but I don't think having a year-long engagement so that the man could build a homestead first was such a bad idea. Wandering around with undisciplined hormones, painfully unresolved emotional issues, living under the/a parents roof, pulling part-time pay, none of these or all of these together grant a maturity fit for pursuing a soulmate. They just don't. It's unreasonable to believe all of those can be solved beforehand, but there comes a point when I look at myself and think: do I have the mental, emotional, spiritual, financial base, worthy of even allowing the possibility of a relationship?
And I don't speak out of asexual detachment. I speak after the pain of witnessing countless friendships and hearts torn down, in one go or little by little. How can the teen crowd not see this? How can they, ignore the heart-wrenching evidence -of their very own friends even- and choose to have a go themselves despite the circumstances? I usually conclude that it must still seem the best route available, despite the risk.
Perhaps you find yourself in those very circumstances I describe.
It's all something I'm certainly not done thinking upon, but I would like to leave a few verses as comfort and clarity, and as small and partial summary for my own choice in keeping friendship from escalation.
Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."
1 Timothy 6:6-12, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
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